For most of my life, I have been the "good girl." I ticked the boxes. I listened to everybody I was supposed to listen to. I followed the rules. And I used to think that made me disciplined, or responsible, or grown up but what I didn't see for a long, long time is that it also made me really good at something else: abandoning myself. That's what following the rules actually cost me. Because every time I chose the rule over what my intuition, my heart or my body was telling m

Last month my son Ben turned 18 and we hosted a BBQ to celebrate his birthday. I ordered 90% of the food from Costco and the ice cream cake from Dairy Queen. Now this probably doesn't sound like a big deal but the old version of me wouldn’t have done this, I would have made everything from scratch. I would have spent days planning the menu, shopping, cooking, cleaning, and making sure the house looked perfect before anyone arrived. This was what most holidays and special o

Do you believe you deserve what you want? Not just in theory, but deep down in the depths of your soul. Do you believe things can work out for you? Do you believe you are worthy of love that feels safe, healthy, and reciprocal? Do you believe you can take up space without disappointing people? Do you believe you can trust yourself to make the right decision? Do you believe your needs matter? Do you believe life gets to feel easier than it does right now? These might seem like

I remember my husband asking me one day: "Why are you so angry all the time?" The question caught me off guard because I didn't think of myself as an angry person. I wasn't someone who yelled or had a short temper, at least, that's what I believed. But when I look back now, I can see that I was expressing a lot of anger. One moment stands out more than any other. My oldest son, Ben, was only four years old. I was trying to get him ready for bed and he was resisting every step

I had a conversation with someone recently who had just returned from a two-week vacation. She told me how much she enjoyed her vacation but also said that she had burnt herself out in the weeks leading up to the trip. She had worked extra hours, tried to get ahead on everything, made sure everyone else was taken care of, tied up every loose end, and pushed herself right to the edge so she could finally leave. And I thought, how many of us are living like this? How many of us

This month is a big one. My firstborn, Ben, turns 18. He graduates from high school and in just a few months he will be leaving for university. Even writing those words brings tears to my eyes because nobody really prepares you for this part. When your children are little, people tell you all the time: "It goes so fast." "Enjoy every minute." "You'll miss this one day." And I know they mean well but when you're in it, really in it, it's hard to understand or imagine what they

Do you regularly feel these emotions? Overwhelm Exhaustion Irritability Numbness Sadness Loneliness Or maybe you feel stuck in one of these emotional states: Anxiety Depression Resentment Are you still pretending that everything is fine? If you are, your body is probably trying to get your attention but we’re not hearing it or are choosing to ignore it because most of us were never taught how to listen. I Used to Think I Needed to Fix My Emotions For years, I thought they

I was having a conversation with my 17-year-old son the other day and he said something that caught me off guard. He said, “Once university is done, the best years of my life are basically over.” I started laughing and asked him what he meant. He said “Well everyone tells you that school and university are the best years of your life, so what happens after?” When I began to think about it more, it made me feel sad. Not just because he’s 17 and his life is barely beginning bu

A year ago, I stepped back from my role as a holistic nutritionist to begin focusing more deeply on burnout, over-functioning, and nervous system regulation in women. At the time, I thought these were two very different paths. But I've come to realize how much my 15+ years as a holistic nutritionist shaped the work I do now. Working with women around food and health, it became clear that food wasn’t the real issue. Beneath the food struggles were deeper patterns around guilt,

You finally sit down at the end of the day and instead of relaxing, your mind starts racing. You think about everything you didn’t get done. Everything you need to do tomorrow. Things you said, things you forgot, things you should have done differently. Your mind moves from one thing to the next and even though you’re technically “resting,” it doesn’t feel like it. You’re not doing anything wrong, you’re not choosing to stay “on.” Your body just doesn’t know how to turn off a

When I was in the depths of my burnout, I remember thinking again and again: “I have everything I ever wanted, so why doesn’t it feel good?” I had an amazing husband, two beautiful, healthy kids, a job I loved as a holistic nutritionist, great friends and a safe home with stability. It wasn’t just that my life looked good on the outside, it was good but it just didn’t feel like it. This is what burnout can look like when you're still functioning, still doing all the right thi

You know you need more rest, better boundaries, to slow the heck down, so why do you keep doing the opposite? You’re smart, you get it, but somehow you keep getting sucked back in. The everyday choices you’re making are reinforcing the same cycle you’re trying to break. It’s so frustrating. You keep asking yourself “Why can’t I just follow through?” You tell yourself this weekend you’re going to rest, but you don’t. You say this week will be different, but it isn’t. You promi

You’re standing there, maybe at work, maybe in your kitchen, maybe replying to a message and someone asks something of you. “Are you okay to come?” “Do you mind helping with this?” There’s a second where you feel it. A tightening. A hesitation. A knowing. You don’t actually want to say yes. But almost just as quickly, the thoughts come in: “It’s fine, I’ll just do it.” “It’s easier if I say yes.” “I don’t want to make this awkward.” So you say yes. You override what you want

Morning She wakes up, is lying in bed running through everything she has to do for the day. Who needs what. What she didn’t get to yesterday. What she needs to stay on top of today. She hasn’t even gotten out of bed yet and already that familiar feeling is there. That low, constant anxiety sitting in her chest, like she’s already behind before the day has even started. Her body feels so heavy, like she has weights attached to her legs. But she ignores it because this is just

There was a time when I kept asking myself: Why am I always tired? I thought I just needed more rest, more discipline or a better routine. If I could just get on top of things, I’d feel like myself again. But this wasn’t that kind of tired. It looked like shouting at my 4 year old son over something small and then immediately feeling this wave of shame. Like I had just done something irreversible, like I had damaged him. And instead of asking for help, I would shut down, hold

There’s a moment that doesn’t look like much from the outside. Someone asks you for something and before you’ve even had time to think, you say yes. Not because you really want to or because you have the capacity but because the “yes” comes out automatically. “Yeah, that’s fine.” “For sure.” “No problem.” And maybe, for a second, everything feels okay. But then later, you feel it. The tightness in your chest, the heaviness in your body and the frustration or resentment that

For a long time, being busy felt like a badge of honour. My days were full. Work. Kids. Planning meals. Grocery shopping Cooking meals. Emails. Activities. Appointments Laundry. Trying to keep the house running. Trying to keep everyone happy. If someone asked how things were going, my answer was usually the same. “Busy.” And I wore that word like proof that I was doing life well. Being busy meant I was productive, responsible, showing up for everyone. Somewhere along the way,

I used to always say yes to my husband Dave. He’d ask if he could go out with friends, stay out late, go and play golf. And I would smile and say, “Yeah, that’s fine.” Every time. But inside? I was getting more and more resentful. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, quietly drowning in responsibility. And yet, I kept saying yes. He would say, “I can stay home.” Or “I can come home with you and the kids.” But I’d feel guilty for making him. So I’d tell myself, if he really wanted to

I had co-hosted a full day retreat, picked up the kids from daycare, came home and started dinner - homemade, of course, because good mums don’t pull something from a box. Good mums feed their kids real food. Good mums don’t cut corners or at least that’s what I believed. I remember standing at the counter feeling like I was outside my own body, watching myself move through the motions. Chop. Stir. Plate. Smile. Hurry. We had to eat and get out the door for baseball. Every mo

You’re still functioning. The meals are made. The work is done. The texts and emails are answered. From the outside, your life looks fine. But inside, you feel flat, irritable and resentful. You keep telling yourself you’re just exhausted, that you need a good night’s sleep, a weekend away or a reset. But what if it’s more than that? Psychologist Christina Maslach, is one of the world’s leading burnout researchers and her work shows that burnout happens when we live too lo