How I Learned to Calm My Nervous System After Burnout

Until I was in my 40s, I never even thought about my nervous system.It simply wasn’t something I had language for, or awareness around.

It wasn’t until I burned out and got sick that I truly understood how much of a role it plays in our lives.

After experiencing panic attacks, depression, and symptoms of Hashimoto’s and osteoarthritis, I was forced to face just how stressed and depleted I was. My body was living in a constant state of high alert. it was stuck in fight, flight, or freeze. Every muscle felt like it was bracing for impact. Every moment felt tense. I was holding myself together all day, every day. For a long time, I had taken my body for granted.

In my late teens and twenties, I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day. I drank heavily most weekends - beer, vodka Red Bulls, late nights that turned into early mornings. I lived on fast food and adrenaline. I never stopped to consider the impact of any of it. I believed I would always bounce back.

I thought this body, this incredible vessel, would always have my back. Until it didn’t.

And it wasn’t just the food, alcohol, or cigarettes that wore me down. It was the years of negative thoughts and beliefs I carried. The mental and emotional load. The habit of putting everyone else’s needs and feelings ahead of my own. The constant pressure to hold it all together.

When I got sick at 42, I had to take a good, honest look at my life and admit something I didn’t want to see: the way I was living was costing me my health, my energy, and my ability to be present in my own life.

I had already addressed the food piece years earlier when I became a holistic nutritionist in 2011. But I had never truly addressed the mental and emotional parts of me, the parts that were always on, always bracing, always pushing.

So when I first started thinking about reducing stress and calming my nervous system, I assumed it meant adding more. More routines, more rules, more trying to “do it right.”

But what I’ve learned over time is that regulation often comes from less. Less rushing, less noise, less treating everything like it’s urgent.

What’s helped me most are small, ordinary choices. Nothing fancy. Nothing performative. Just real life.

1. Sitting quietly for a few extra minutes before the next thing to do.

Before the next role, the next conversation, the next demand. I sit and breathe. No music, no scrolling, I just let my body catch up to my mind.

2. Saying “that can wait” to things that don’t actually need to be done right now

Laundry. Emails. The vacuuming. When I stop treating everything like an emergency, my body instantly softens.

3. Taking phone breaks

Sometimes my nervous system isn’t asking for better habits. It’s asking for quiet, so I put my phone in another room and let my brain have a moment of silence.

4. Drinking something warm without multitasking

Tea is my preferred choice, one warm sip at a time. No standing at the counter answering messages or planning the next thing. Just presence.

5. Switching to softer lighting in the evenings

Lamps or dimming the lights, even candles sometimes. I find this automatically tells my body "it’s okay to slow down now."

6. Going for “mindful walks”

No tracking my steps, no certain pace to keep up. Just noticing the sky, the temperature, the sound of the birds or wind, the feeling of moving instead of sitting. Letting my body remember it belongs outside sometimes.

7. Letting myself rest before I hit the wall

Going to bed early. Asking for help with dinner. Closing my eyes for a few minutes. I now choose to pause before I crash instead of after.

8. Saying no to things I don't want to do (for the most part)

Before saying yes, I now check in with myself. My energy is a limited resource and I’m allowed to protect it.

9. Making meals simpler

Less “impressive", more “what feels easy and good today". For years I would overcomplicate mealtimes, not any more.

10. Letting myself cry when I need to

No analyzing, no explaining, just let the tears flow.

11. Putting my hand on my chest and taking three slow breaths

The simplest reset I know. It brings me back to myself every single time.

12. Allowing silence into my day

The older I get, the more sensitive to noise I have become. Also, distraction can sometimes come in the form of podcasts, audiobooks, music. So sometimes, I mute all the noise and just allow the quiet and let my mind stop absorbing for a moment.

Your nervous system doesn’t need perfection, it needs safety and safety is often built in the quiet, ordinary moments we give ourselves permission to take.

If you’ve been feeling wired, tired, or stretched thin, maybe start with just one.

One pause. One breath. One moment of softness.

That’s often where things begin.

Mel x