The Hidden Weight Women Carry in December

I love Christmas — it’s always been my favourite time of year. The lights, the memories, the anticipation… there’s a kind of magic that I still feel even now and so does my labradoodle Scout (his favourite place to sit is next to the Christmas tree!).

But I didn’t always feel this way.

Because there’s another side of December that no one really talks about. A side that brings everything to the surface - not just the joy, but the pressure, the expectations, and the invisible load so many women carry.

And for a long time, that was my December. I would go into the month already at zero capacity, stretched thin, already tired before I even began.

I remember waking up exhausted, my mind full before my feet touched the floor.

Simple decisions felt too heavy. I’d get everyone else ready, show up where I was needed, keep the traditions going while quietly falling apart on the inside.

If you're feeling this too, it’s not because you’re weak or unprepared or “not good at the holidays.” It’s because you’re the one remembering:

• Everyone’s gifts.

• The concerts.

• The meals.

• The events.

• The coordinating.

• The magic-making.

• The family dynamics.

• The checking in.

• The showing up.

• 
  

So much of what you hold in December is invisible and yet your body feels every ounce of it.

• The shallow breathing.

• The shoulders creeping toward your ears.

• The tightness in your chest.

• The constant tiredness that no amount of sleep seems to fix.

For years, I believed I had to hold it all. I thought doing everything alone made me strong, that I had to prove myself, that asking for help made me less capable.

It didn’t. It just left me resentful, exhausted, and unable to receive support even when it was offered. And when I inevitably couldn’t do it all, I blamed myself. I told myself I wasn’t good enough.

If any of this feels familiar, please hear me: You don’t have to continue this way. I’m not talking about a huge life overhaul. I’m not talking about a dramatic reset or a perfectly peaceful holiday season.

I’m talking about small things, tiny moments, that bring you back to yourself:

• Letting something be “good enough” instead of perfect.

• Choosing ease without guilt.

• Stepping outside for a minute of peace.

• Saying “not right now” to something that doesn’t really matter.

• Giving yourself five minutes in the morning before the noise begins.

None of these fix everything but they soften the edges. They create just enough space for you, which is usually what’s been missing. And maybe this year, you find a different kind of magic. Not the kind you create for everyone else but the kind you give yourself.

• Savouring your morning coffee.

• A shorter to-do list.

• A moment to breathe.

• A moment where you matter, too.

If your December already feels heavy, I hope this reminds you of one thing - You don’t have to move through this month at full speed AND you don’t have to carry it alone.

Mel x