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Writer's pictureMelanie Grime RHN

How I Stopped Hating My Body



For years (decades actually), I struggled with hating my body. Seeing "perfect" bodies and unrealistic beauty standards everywhere made it easy for me to start hating myself. I criticized and judged myself, hoping it would motivate me to change but I learned the hard way: 


You can’t hate yourself into loving your body.


I finally began to realize that hating my body wasn’t helping. I thought being tough on myself would push me to lose weight or look better. But this only led to unhealthy behaviors like extreme dieting and over-exercising, which left me feeling worse and didn’t make any difference. 


Learning about self-compassion is what changed everything for me. It helped me see that I needed to be kinder to myself for things to change. Continually beating myself up was NOT the way to go.


Self-compassion means accepting our flaws without judgment and knowing we’re not alone in our struggles.


Dr Kristin Neff PhD explains that:


“Self-compassion involves giving yourself the same compassion you’d naturally show a friend or loved one when you are feeling badly about yourself. 

It means being supportive when you’re facing a life challenge, feel inadequate, or make a mistake. Instead of just ignoring your pain with a “stiff upper lip” mentality or getting carried away by your negative thoughts and emotions, you stop to tell yourself “this is really difficult right now,” how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?”


What I love about this and why it resonated so much was that I wasn’t being asked to jump from hating my body to loving my body as this felt super unrealistic. Instead I began to start practicing more self-compassion and here are some of the things I did & still do today


Challenging Negative Thoughts: When I notice negative thoughts about my body, I challenge them. I ask myself if I would say those things to my kids. This helps me replace harsh criticisms with kinder words.


Practicing Gratitude: I began focusing on what my body could do instead of how it looked. I made a list of things I was grateful for, like my body’s strength and ability to heal and this shifted my focus from appearance to function.


Positive Self-Talk: I started talking to myself kindly. I used positive statements and affirmations to build acceptance and respect. Every day, I remind myself that I deserve love and respect just as I am, right here & right now.


Surround Myself with Positivity: I did a BIG detox on my social media, I limit my exposure to media and people who promote unrealistic beauty standards. I follow social media accounts that celebrate body diversity and positivity. I surrounded myself with supportive friends and family who valued me for who I am.


Taking Care of My Body: I do things that make me feel good physically, mentally and emotionally. I chose movement that I enjoy, I nourish my body with food that makes me feel good, plenty of rest and self-care practices.


I have been practicing self-compassion for many years now and to be honest with you, I can’t say that I love my body yet but I have gone from hating it, to respecting it, accepting it and now liking it. One day, maybe I will make the final leap to loving it. 


This journey hasn’t been a quick fix, it has taken patience, commitment, and changing how I thought about myself. 


I have learned that my worth is NOT tied to my appearance. I am valuable just because I am me and SO ARE YOU!


By rejecting self-hatred and embracing self-compassion, I have transformed my relationship with my body and my life. I opened the door to a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life. 


It’s time to stop the cycle of negativity and start treating yourself with the compassion and respect YOU deserve.


Remember, you can’t hate your body into loving it—but you can learn to like it, one step at a time.


Mel x



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